4 Crucial Areas to Make Boundaries Around

This was going to be a difficult conversation, but it had to be done. I had to be firm about my boundaries because things were getting out of hand. 

If it didn’t stop, I’d forever be resentful and mad at her about it. And if I wanted more time for myself, I’d have to be clear about my boundaries. 

In this post, I’m listing four areas to make firm boundaries around so that you can prioritize what really matters to you. I’ll also fill you in on one of the toughest boundaries I’ve had to set. 

1. Make Boundaries Around Relationships

Let’s start with the most awkward one, shall we? We need to be firm about what we will and will not allow in our relationships. This is important not only in our romantic relationships but also in friendships. We need to be able to talk about sex, but also about texts.

In your relationships, set boundaries around communication and also around: 

• Qualities that you invite in your friendships
• Things that end a relationship
• What you will do in a romantic relationship
• The level of commitment you expect in a romantic relationship
• Behaviours that you’re willing to accept 
• Behaviours that seem more like abuse or neglect

2. Make Boundaries Around Your Time

Along that same line, when we’re dealing with other people, we have to set boundaries around our time. How late is too late for notice? Is it okay for someone to text you about something that’s urgent or would you prefer an email? How far in advance do you schedule your appointments and hangouts?

I don’t know about you, but I can waste my time all by myself (Read: How to Procrastinate Better). So in order to avoid feeling unprepared and rushed, think about creating boundaries around: 

• Notice for plans
• Cancelling plans
• How you’ll receive news about work
• How you’ll receive general inquiries
• When you expect to hear back about certain things vs. when you’ll follow up on them yourself

3. Make Boundaries Around Your Passions

You know I had to bring up the concept of multi-passionatism! That’s just what we talk about on this blog; these tips are for you with the different projects going on. It’s important to recognize that multi-passionate people definitely need boundaries, especially as it pertains to each of our passions. 

Because let’s face it: people will question us about working on more than one thing at a time. Because of this, I suggest you create boundaries around: 

• Who you will discuss your passions with
• Which of your passion projects are private
• Which of your passion projects you will share, and to what extent
• What conversations feel safe and respectful and what doesn’t
• Which behaviours are helpful to your overall success and which aren’t
• When to say no to new commitments

4. Make Boundaries Around Your Physical Self-Care

So, I did it. I sat down with her and had the conversation. 

Look, Nothando, I know you don’t mean to hurt me, and yet I’m feeling exhausted every single day because you insist on doing stupid stuff before bed. We need to get to bed at a reasonable time because you have long days that start early. I’m setting a boundary around bedtime.

What?!

Y’all, as cheesy as it sounds, I swear I had this conversation with myself. I was blogging and scrolling and doing all sorts of things that kept me alert and awake way too late and staying up way past my bedtime. (Yes, I have a bedtime.)  

Sometimes, we have to have honest conversations and set boundaries for ourselves. Boundary setting is not just about telling other people what we will and will not accept. It’s also about holding ourselves accountable and committing to things that keep us healthy. For example, the boundaries we make for ourselves could centre around: 

• The types of food we will eat – no more going to work and grabbing “something” for lunch. Who knows what that will be? 
• The amount of rest we get on a consistent basis
• How many times we work out during the week
• What we will and won’t put in our bodies
• Where we will and won’t go

Summary

So, just as I had to be firm with myself about my own boundaries, I want you to do the same. No more blogging into the night… No more scrolling on Instagram (Read: Productivity Hacks for your Phone – How to Stop Scrolling).

Our boundaries with ourselves are just as important as our boundaries with other people. Saying it bluntly, just as we need to get comfortable saying no to others, we also have to call ourselves out on our mess. 

I hope this post has highlighted where you might want to work on making firmer boundaries. See you in the next post!

Was this post helpful? Share it!

• 

•