As multi-passionate career women, there are so many ways we can spend our time. We could volunteer, work on that creative project, do more at work, and the list goes on.

But that’s the problem. The list goes on, and sometimes, we end up feeling overwhelmed even before we start.

In this post, I’m giving you my 3-step process for when I’m feeling overwhelmed. It’s how I make time for everything I’m passionate about – and you can too.

• 

• 

• 

1. Evaluate and eliminate

A few months ago, in residency, we were studying for our licensing exams. I couldn’t believe it was 8:00 pm. We still had three big topics to cover before we wrapped up.

I knew we wouldn’t stick to twenty minutes per person. And I still have so much to do, I thought.

I have to cook, get ready for clinic tomorrow… And I’m going to be so tired in the morning. There’s no way I’ll be able to write. Doesn’t everyone else have something to do?!

“Do you want some hummus, Nothando?” one of my co-residents asked. I gladly reached for a carrot and dipped it.

These snacks are delicious. I’m so glad someone brought food.

In an instant, my mood was a thousand times better.

When we finally did finish our study session that night, that same resident told me I seemed so much happier. She said I seemed less stressed once I started eating.

I wasn’t mad. She was right, and I appreciated her and her healthy snacks.

Sometimes when we feel like there’s too much going on and not enough time, it’s because we’re being reactive instead of proactive. We’re studying all day with no snacks. We’re pushing ourselves to extremes and then taking a break for self-care only when we have to.

When you’re feeling overwhelmed, start by improving just one thing about your environment. If you haven’t eaten or slept in several hours, I think I know part of why you’re stressed. And also, it’s no wonder you can’t get anything done if your apartment is cluttered with piles of work. But you know where everything is, right? (If not, read How to Clear Your Workspace to Get More Done)

Sis! Put on some good tunes, light some candles, tidy up, find some quiet, work out, eat… whatever you need to do to get into a better space.

Now, I know you know this, and you’re waiting for me to get to the less obvious stuff. Here it goes:

Your worth is not in your work.

Maybe you’re doing a bit too much. I can say this about you because I know that your ambition is part of why you’ve accomplished so much. You work hard, and it’s often on more than one project.

I think that’s amazing. But right now? In this state of overwhelm?

I need you to eliminate any and everything that you can, including harmful thoughts (Read: What Type of Imposter Are You?).  

How do you do this? Take Kate Northrup’s advice and ask yourself these three questions. It’s actually one question asked three different ways. Answering it will help you eliminate the extra things on your calendar. So the question is:

Do I have to do this right now? As in…

1. Do I have to do this right now?

Or can someone who’s quicker, more able, or less stressed do this for me?

2. Do I have to do this right now?

Urgently? Or can I come back to it at a time when I can hold more space for it?

3. Do I have to do this right now?

Is this even something that needs to be done? Look, a lot of the time, we add things to our to-do list that just shouldn’t be there. No, you don’t need to re-format your notes into pretty charts. All the info is already there… you just need to review it… 🙂

So, when you’re feeling overwhelmed, your first step is to recognize how your environment is contributing to your stress. Then, evaluate your to-do list. Ask that question – three times – for every item on your list.

2. Why is this stressing you out?

A while ago, I decided that I would truly have “made it” once I had ensuite laundry. I just feel like that’s the epitome of adulthood right now: being able to do your laundry while still wearing your PJs because the machines are right there in your unit.

When I made this decision, I was overwhelmed by the prospect of doing my laundry the “right way.” I had to sort it out into lights, darks… and also maybe pastels. And then I had to separate everything into the appropriate textures before I could put them in the dryer. Oh and don’t forget, I had to fold them neatly into perfect squares and redo my whole dresser system à la Marie Kondo.

Just the thought of it all made me exhausted. I wanted to bury myself in my mountain of clothes.

What exactly is stressing you out? In my case, I was engineering an overly complex project plan…. for laundry.

3. Act then plan

It’s easier to come up with the next best step once you’ve pinpointed why you’re so overwhelmed.

In my case, I decided to just throw everything in the wash and hope for the best. Mind you, at this time, my wardrobe wasn’t very chic. I’m pretty sure it was just different shades of comfy clothes… you know, sweat pants, tank tops, maybe a decent sweater or two.

But listen, when you’re overwhelmed, taking a tiny step forward – even if it’s not the best way to do something – is monumental.

And good news: everything came out fine! Everything was the same colour and size it was before I put it in the wash. Better news: I’d moved passed feeling like my whole world depended on my laundry. I did something to prove to myself that this task could be accomplished.

When you’ve evaluated your environment, eliminated what you could, and figured out what exactly is stressing you out, you’re finally in a position to move forward. It’s this kind of positive momentum that’ll bring you through feeling overwhelmed.

And what’s even better is that you can use this momentum to continue moving in the right direction. Once you’ve actually taken the first step, you can plan out the rest of them.

For me, it was a matter of picking a day in the near future when I would do my next loads of laundry. I wanted them to form a pile instead of a mountain.

This is a great time to do some forward thinking about how to avoid feeling overwhelmed again in the first place. When you have the capacity to do so, think about creating routines, systems or workflows that will automate how you do certain recurring tasks (Read: How to Create a Simple Morning Routine).

The key phrase, though, is: when you have the capacity to do so. Not when you’re feeling overwhelmed, but after you’ve taken that first helpful step. If you start off by trying to plan, you’re just going to feel even more overwhelmed. I’m speaking from experience here.

***

Did this help? I hope it did because I absolutely get that feeling of overwhelm, and I know it can be paralyzing. On top of that, overwhelm is bound to happen.

When you do experience it, I don’t want you to be scrambling for the tools to work through it. That is not the time. You can come back to this blog post, or you can work through this focus planner. It’s a fillable PDF that’ll help you reprioritize your passions so you can get back to what matters and stop feeling overwhelmed.

Summary

So to recap, our steps to getting past overwhelm are:

1. Evaluate & eliminate
2. Figure out what exactly is stressing you out, and
3. Act then plan

We talked about how to assess what’s going on internally and externally in order to be your most productive self. We also listed specific questions to move through the discomfort and identify your next best step.

In order to get past overwhelm, we have to acknowledge that it’s getting in the way, and then figure out why. Can you change or eliminate some of your tasks? What about your environment and expectations is harmful to your performance and your wellbeing? How can you bring more peace into your day?

Don’t forget to download your focus planner to help you walk through this process. It’s how I make sure I’m prioritizing time for writing, travel, medicine… and laundry.

And in our next post, we’ll talk about how to reset at the end of the week so you can avoid feeling like you’re not prepared.

Was this post helpful? Pin it!

• 

•