This one’s for my career women who’ve worried about whether or not we were going to accomplish x, y or z within a certain timeframe. Remember when you worried about getting into that program? Or when you dreaded answering questions about when you’d settle down?
So. Much. Pressure.
I wrote this guide as a reflective practice for you to slow down and eliminate some of the stress you might be feeling. Here are 3 things to ask yourself in order to refocus on the present and stop worrying about “running out” of time.
1. Who have you been listening to?
Y’all. Half the time, our stress comes from other people’s expectations. We worry that we’re “behind” because we’re not engaged, we haven’t bought property, or heck, we haven’t moved out of our parents’ property.
These are things that other people expect of us; they’re general rules about our personal lives. Think about whether or not they fit your current circumstances. Do they make any sense at all? What would happen if you boldly decided to live on your own timeline?
If you’ve been worried about time, pay attention to whose opinions might be adding to your stress, and then take them or leave them.
2. Have you ever thought that maybe your pace isn’t so bad?
I would love to be a mom one day, but listen, I’m done worrying about when that’ll happen. I remember trying to space my hypothetical children out in terms of age and planning to have them during residency when I’d have a paid maternity leave. Well… guess who’s writing her boards in less than nine months? I am! And I’m so happy about that. As lovely as it’d be to have a group of kiddos to love on right now, it’s also pretty nice to take an hour-long bubble bath with a good book and no responsibilities whenever I’d like.
Is there anything good about not reaching a certain milestone yet? Have you ever felt like maybe where you are isn’t so bad? Chances are you haven’t done something or gone somewhere yet because there’s more to enjoy right here in this moment. Take some time to appreciate what’s unique about the stage of life that you’re in right now. This is once-in-your-lifetime!
3. What would your future self want you to remember about this time in your life?
Listen. I know you’re going to get to where it is you’re aiming for. So right now, what I want you to do is think about what your future self. What would she want you to remember about right now?
She probably wouldn’t want you stressin’! This future version of yourself – the one who’s done all the things you’re racing to accomplish – would probably want you to relax, because you can’t enjoy the present if you’re obsessing about the future.
Summary
So there you have it: three ways to redirect your thinking and turn your worry into work! These questions encourage you to shift your focus from the future to the present. Be sure to join our email community below for more prompts like this as well as some fillable PDFs to help you work through tough things like imposter syndrome.
I know it’s so easy to get caught up in what you think you should be doing instead of what you’re actually doing, and so my biggest piece of advice is to guard your thoughts and your energy by focusing on the only thing that’s real: the present. And if you liked this post, you’ll probably also find this one helpful: How to Work Past Self Doubt When You Have Big Goals.
Read it and let me know if I’m right!
